Monday, April 20, 2009

Octuplets: What is in a tantrum?

Octuplets: Updated list of posts (4-19)

April 19, 2009

I included this not because of its tabloid nature - but because it reveals, without words, what Nadya already had to deal with prior to getting implanted with that let set of embryos.

From X 17 online:

Tantrums are not an infrequent occurrence. How much longer will the cure be carrying him out of a store and shoving him in the car?

And when the frustration of being neglected boils over and the cameras aren’t around?

Angels in Waiting would have assessed and addressed the needs of all 14 children. Critical for the 3 older children with neurological limitations. Speech delay has a narrow window in which to be addressed. And if not adequately managed, the frustration and poor impulse control associated with autism and ADHD, could lead to a potentially dangerous situation with 8 defenseless preemies in the house.

For 6 months, while they and their mother acclimated to the octuplet’s presence, the older children could have had individual care, attention, counseling and whatever therapy - speech, physical, cognitive, behavioral - was indicated. And they could have had their intellectual level assessed to identify the optimal method of learning individual to them.

Right now there is no computer in the home for them to use - TV, DVDs, video games, yes. Who keeps track of and helps them with homework? Who reads to them? Who stimulates their imagination on a daily basis? Who talks to them one on one in a quiet place? Who holds them and comforts them without distraction?

Don’t think they haven’t taken note of the fact that mommy’s got special help for the octuplets but not for them. Children 7 years and younger can’t intellectualize the reason why. All they know is no one has come specially to hold them, feed them, talk or sing to them, cuddle with them or even just to sit quietly in a room with them.

Had Nadya put the welfare of all of her children first, the older children would have been treated as individuals, who matter in their own right. Instead they’re cute photo op props to film kissing their “gross” and “alien” little siblings that at least two expressed they did not want to come home.

But Nadya said no. It’s too cold. Not to mention too inconvenient for the paparazzi.

Then, when the donations didn’t start pouring in and the hospital threatened not to discharge the octuplets, she said ok to AIW and accepted everything Dr Phil provided free of charge.

When the donations still didn’t pour in and she realized she was not going to get any of the AIW donations and that no TV show would be allowed for as long as AIW was present - she fired them. And she couldn’t risk AIW making any more reports to CPS because without all 8 preemies she is not “Octomom”.

The grandmother has not accepted the octuplets and wants nothing to do with them. She wasn’t there when the first two came home. There is a great deal of tension between Nadya and the grandmother that erupted on camera with the kids present - see update link [4-1]. It was frightening to watch. Nadya fled her own house rather than deal with it. The kids hurried along as if it’s happened many times before. They didn’t even ask what was going on. The camera crew didn’t either - they’ve seen it as well.

What do they have on tape that will be seen for the first time on Court TV?

And as far as immediate family - role models to imitate - all those kids have is Nadya, the angry, explosive grandmother, and the grandfather, who says his daughter is “not mentally complete” and in need of a psychiatric evaluation. [2-25]

10 sons without a father. 4 daughters who will have to deal with 10 brothers who don’t have a father to teach them how to treat females with respect. All 14, children to a mother with Nadya’s (lack of) maternal judgment and grounding in reality.

I have never heard Nadya say she wanted to be a mother to a lot of kids. Just she always wanted to have a big family…that she always wanted to have a lot of kids.

Every time I see the oldest girl, I ponder her daily existence and how she will never be free from responsibility. 6 y/o and her childhood was stolen away forever by her selfish mother. And it can never be given back. It’s impossible. And nothing is or has been done to help her reconcile it.

That is what I find most tragic in all of this.

I speak from the perspective of the bottom half of a natural double digit family that had both a mother and a father.

2 comments:

GorillaDog still yapping said...

That was a touching and articulate summation of my feelings. Thanks.
Joanne

mattie said...

Hi Joanne - thank you.