Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Octuplets: Grandfather on Oprah

February 25, 2009

Now the grandfather, Ed Doud (67) steps forward to tell his sob story and how he has to go back to Iraq (where he was born) to work because he has only $100. Mind you they had already abandoned a house in 2007, filed bankruptcy in March 08, have received a notice of foreclosure Feb 09 and the birther had been on disability and food stamps. In addition, and much more heinous, three of her six oldest children have neurological disabilities (ADHD, autism, speech delay/mild autism) and have been getting federal assistance as well.

All this going on when she selfishly chose to implant 6 more embryos.

See links below for details.

There is no way to spin this. What she did was premeditated child neglect, child abuse and welfare fraud. And having 14 children while on disability for a "bad back" smacks of workman's compensation fraud. It also speaks to her lack of any type of insight and judgment - maternal or otherwise.

I tried to find a transcript/video. Here is what is available on Oprah's website. Dr Oz lets loose as well. Listen to how defensive and how completely out of touch the grandfather is of what will be needed to care for all the children. Pay close attention to how he said he told her enough! Same lame thing the grandmother did and neither of them stopped her. All they had to do was call the State Medical Licensing Board or Child Protective Services.

No one affiliated with those children have sound judgment. Eight premature infants should not be entrusted to their care. No one mentions the six children she selfishly, willingly, willfully and with forethought and malice, did this do. She sentenced to a life without a childhood and to a life of neglect. Dr Oz goes one further and calls it "child cruelty".

She should not be allowed to ruin any more lives.

My opinion - speaking from the bottom of a double digit family that was not artificially created.

The following is from Oprah.com

On January 26, 2009, Nadya Suleman, already an unemployed single mother of six, gave birth to eight babies in a California hospital…and a media frenzy began almost immediately.

Days after the birth, Nadya agreed to an interview with NBC News correspondent Ann Curry. "I personally do not believe I'm irresponsible. Everything I do revolves around my children. That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family. And I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up. And I personally believe that need to fill something inside that's not there, the void, the feeling of emptiness. I think everyone has that."

ED DOUD

Ed Doud, grandfather of octuplets

Ed, who lives overseas for work, says he used most of his savings since returning to the United States and now has just $100 left. "I have either one week, maybe two weeks maximum. Then I have to go back. Do I really want to be 10,000 miles away from my grandchildren who I love so much? But I have to."

Ed, who is now divorced from Nadya's mother, says he thinks his daughter was not herself for the NBC interview. "They took her out of the hospital by midnight to a secret location. They did not even give her a chance to rest or sleep while she's still under medication and not feeling well. This is not Nadya who I know. Nadya's a very, very, very, very sophisticated young lady. Very intelligent. Very smart."

OPRAH says many news outlets—including The Oprah Winfrey Show—competed to get the first interview with Nadya, and no one forced her to do it. "Somebody on her team, or she, made the final decision that that interview would go to NBC's Ann Curry, who I think did a really terrific job of being sympathetic and open to her. And so are you saying that she did that now under duress?"

To most people, Ed says, Nadya may have appeared to be in control—but not to him. "I know my daughter," he says. "When she's under tremendous physical pain, it's very hard to tell."

Though she already had six children, Nadya became pregnant with octuplets through in vitro fertilization. Her doctor implanted six embryos—eggs fertilized with a donor's sperm—in her uterus. Right up until she was in labor, doctors thought she was going to have seven babies. "[The eighth baby] was hiding somewhere," Ed jokes. Despite her already large family, Ed says Nadya wanted to have those six embryos implanted in part for religious reasons and also because she trusted her doctor.

Oprah: Do you think the doctor was irresponsible?

Ed: Absolutely irresponsible. Exactly.

Oprah: Do you think your daughter was irresponsible?

Ed: Irresponsible, too. Yes, ma'am.

Oprah: Do you think your daughter is mentally stable?

**Ed: That's a very good question.

How did Nadya come to want such a large family? Ed says his daughter always wanted to have kids, but she learned that though her eggs are fertile, it would be difficult for her to conceive without in vitro fertilization treatment.

When Nadya decided she wanted to get pregnant the first time, she was not married, Ed says, so she turned to a friend to be her sperm donor. After that child was born, she decided to have another baby, then a third child and a fourth.

At this point, Ed says he told his daughter she had to stop having more kids. "She loves the children and she wants more. But this is it. No more."

"It looks like someone sitting at a bar and saying, 'I'm going to have a drink.' And, well, after that, 'Well, one more.' And then, 'One more'. And that's where I can't stop her, even though I talked to her."

One day after his fourth grandchild was born, Ed says he answered his phone—and found himself talking to Nadya's fertility doctor. "He said, 'I'm checking on her status to see how she's doing.' I said, 'She's doing fine. What exactly do you mean by that?' He said, 'Well, didn't she tell you? She's pregnant.' 'Pregnant!'"

Ed says he told the doctor how much stress Nadya's pregnancies were causing. "Don't you understand that enough is enough?" he says he told the doctor. "Don't you see that you are putting so much burden on her mom and on me? Don't you understand that what you're doing is hurting the family?"

The doctor, Ed says, claimed he didn't know anything about Nadya's family situation. "After that, I thought, 'That's it. Over.'"

Now that Ed has 14 grandchildren, he says he plans to do what he can to help his family. "They're my life. There is nothing that will stop me from continuing working to help as much as I can."

For additional help, Nadya has set up a website to accept money donations. Ed says asking for help the way Nadya has was something he was never able to do. "I never in my life—and that was something maybe negative about me—I never asked for help."

Although Ed says he never felt he could ask for a hand, he doesn't want his daughter to suffer for doing so. "Do not punish my daughter for what she had done, and do not punish the babies, because they were given by God," he says.

DR OZ

Dr. Oz explains the likely outcomes of the octuplet controversy.
Dr. Oz weighs in on the the vitro fertilization controversy, saying it has become the "Dracula of medical technology." "It sucks out all of the good stuff that medicine often provides, all the wonderful conceived children that occur every year. It also strips money out of the system."

Beyond the several million dollars Dr. Oz says it will take to get the octuplets ready to leave the hospital, he has a message for Ed. "It's going to cost about a quarter million dollars per kid to get them to age 18, so you better start working. I hope you're in good health."

Money aside, Dr. Oz addresses a more important issue. "I'd like to shift gears a tiny bit because we've been judging Nadya a lot and someone has to speak out for the kids. Because, ultimately, this is a form of child cruelty, I think, and we have a very cavalier and careless attitude to conceiving children in this country. Not just Nadya—this happens all over the place."

Dr. Oz says Nadya's pregnancy is a major failure in professionalism. He compares the situation to a Middle Eastern proverb. "It takes one fool to throw a coin down a well. It takes 99 wise men to pull it up. There were 46 very wise physicians and other healers getting these babies out that day at an incredible expense. Despite that, it's hard to keep up unless someone preempts the act."

Dr. Oz says it's a natural gut reaction to question why there are no laws to stop in vitro fertilizations like Nayda's. "There are some countries, like Italy, that actually have rules. You're not allowed to implant more than three embryos, for example, there. But we don't want the government involved in a very personal relationship that we have to have with our doctors about such a sensitive topic."

DR JAMIE GRIFIO

Fertility expert Dr. Jamie Grifo

Many people are asking how it's possible that Nadya gave birth to octuplets—aren't there regulations on in vitro fertilization? Dr. Jamie Grifo, the program director of the NYU Fertility Center, says the American Society for Reproductive Medicine has published the following guidelines for women seeking in vitro fertilization:

  • Women under the age of 35 should have no more than two embryos implanted.
  • Women ages 35 to 37 should have no more than three embryos implanted.
  • Women ages 38 to 40 should have no more than four embryos implanted.
  • Women age 40 and over should have no more than five embryos implanted.

According to the guidelines, Nadya, who is 33, falls under the two-embryo category. However, Dr. Grifo notes that these are guidelines, not laws. "Eight babies born at once is a failure of our treatment. Our goal as practitioners is to help these patients have a single healthy pregnancy, because those pregnancies have the best outcome."

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**That's all that was included on this line of questioning. I would have liked to know more - a simple follow up like, why is it just dawning on you now? Or if he ever thought she needed psychiatric help when she wouldn't stop. Contrast those statements to his other characterizations of her. I would also like to know if Oprah asked him about the extent of cosmetic surgery, who paid for it and whether he knew she was on disability for a bad back while she was pregnant.

***

(1-30) Octuplets: Ethics of fertility treatment?
(1-30) Octuplets: What is really going on?
(2-9) Octuplets: Should not go home with that woman
(2-9) Octuplets: Octuplets: already filthy house unfit for children (pix)
(2-23) Octuplets: Mother vs grandmother caught on tape
(2-24) Octuplets: Cosmetic surgery, IVF, food stamps, disability, bankruptcy & foreclosure
(2-24) Octuplets: Mother before/after plastic surgery & Angelina Jolie (pix)
(2-25) Octuplets: Grandfather on Oprah daughter “not mentally complete”
(2-25) Octuplets: Hospital questioning her ability to care for children
(2-26) Octuplets: Video of inside the home
(2-26) Octuplets: Body language mother vs grandmother video (Part 1)
(2-26) Octuplets: Body language mother vs grandmother video (Part 2)
(2-27) Octuplets: Man claiming to be sperm donor
(2-27) Octuplets: Grandmother on The Early Show (Part 1)
(2-27) Octuplets: Grandmother on The Early Show (Part 2)
(2-27) Octuplets: Grandmother on The Early Show (Part 3)
(2-27) Octuplets: Grandmother’s first interview (Feb 9th)

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