Octuplets: Biter at work

(5-3) Updated list of octuplet posts

May 2, 2009

If you don't know, biting seems to be a Nadya family tradition. One she speaks of fondly in her a RadarOnline video [see link below] with her children standing right in the vicinity. In it, she says she couldn't resist little babies' "juicy" cheeks and would bite them to the point of drawing blood. She said she "mellowed out" around three and stopped doing it. She then said she had "one" biter and pointed to her 7 y/o boy.

She did not at all seem concerned or even embarrassed that her oldest child - one who can speak, reason and grasp that what he is doing is wrong - needs to bite another human being in order to get her attention. She smiled as she said it and he closed his mouth over his teeth while trying not to smile.

The oldest daughter was there too. She's always there, looking up like a puppy, hoping her mom will notice her instead of concentrating on the boys. Hoping that her mom will say something than other smile for the camera. Hoping that just once her mother might tell her how proud she is of her for not biting.

She is the most neglected of all. Has anyone asked her how she feels now that the octuplets are home? When first asked, she said she didn't want them because their crying would stress out her mother. And now, when she sees all the attention and care they are being given by the nannies and she's told she's the "big girl" who can do everything by herself?

It's hard to believe that a mother would reject an offer of help extended to all 14 of her children when the older ones already show signs of neglect. Why else does a 7 y/o, who can speak and communicate, still need to bite and throw tantrums to express himself?

In her video, Nadya made no mention of the 2 y/o male twin and 3 y/o autistic boy, who as it turns out also bite. Perhaps because of their age and her personal history she didn't find it out of the ordinary.

Here's a photo from Octorazzi showing the little brother protege hard at work. This was Monday the 27th. Two days later Social workers were knocking on Nadya's door to inquire about a bite on her autistic son's back, which Nadya nonchalantly said was caused by the 2 y/o.

The same angelic-looking 2 y/o who stands smacking his defenseless autistic brother, whose hands are at his sides, directly in the face with a book. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! as Nadya whispers the words "allegation of neglect" and responds with an unalarmed Oh. Oh. Followed by Gentle. Gentle. Show me gentle, as the smiling and grunting 2 y/o uses the same book to SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! the camera. To which she explains to the camera that this one is aggressive and that she needs to start doing time outs - the subsequent "time out" consisting of a hug, a kiss, some water out of a bottle and some food.

And as the autistic child wanders off, after she gave him a distracted one-handed squeeze, never putting down the plate of food in her hand or making eye contact or explaining anything to him, she goes into a complicated explanation of how he might have gotten his black eye by throwing a fit and hitting his face on a desk.

A week or so earlier she had told the camera that he really doesn't like physical contact and that he may never talk - never putting together the fact she has no interest in comforting him or talking to him to translate into his world why his brother has no problem - and seems to take pleasure in - hurting him to get his mother's attention.

The little brother who sits contented and victorious on the bed as the abused autistic brother, with the black eye and human bite wound on his back - that didn't even merit an explanation to the teacher - wanders off into the safe world inside his mind.

What are the chances he will ever be guided out of his safe world?

What are the chances he will ever become verbal when no one bothers to try and engage him with words or eye contact?

How many of his "meltdowns" are preceded by his brothers' unprovoked violence? His mother's neglect? Because no one is taking the extra time to communicate with him because they have "accepted" that he never will?

What are the chances the 2 y/o will learn to speak - he is nonverbal - when he is able to communicate through unprovoked violence?

What are the chances he will stop biting when he watches his oldest brother do it with success?

And what are the chances the octuplets will be his next attention-getting victims - especially when he heard his mother smile and laugh as she explained to the camera how much pleasure she took in biting little babies "juicy cheeks"?

(4-27) Octuplets: Nadya discusses her son’s autism
(4-29) Octuplets: Nadya visited by Social Services
(4-29) Octuplets: Nadya jokes about being a “biter”
(4-29) Octuplets: UPDATE: Social Service visit
(4-30) Octuplets: Nadya discusses Social Services visit
(5-2) Octuplets: Thanks, but no thanks
(5-3) Octuplets: Biter at work
(5-4) Octuplets: What's your definition of child abuse?